ha! I knew this should happen more frequently!! This is a work of art. Hmph.

--
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost.
-J.R.R.Tolkien

^^ tank you ^^ should happen more often yeah, but I they only turn up when they want to ^^

Still, they're cool ^^

--
All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost.
-J.R.R.Tolkien

God i believe would be better but it this has a nice flow to it

--
check my gallery[link]

God loves you.

'Look into my eyes. what do you see'

Featured here: [link]

--
My Portfolios: [link]

Commission Info & Prices: [link]

"Your money always has a place in my pocket, Kupo!" :0)

yay, thanks

--
Liverpool can be a lonely place on a Saturday night, and this is only Thursday morning...

I that sentence.
Oh, and one more thing.
Read. Mah. Poetr...ah?
[link]

_{"My mind flies to places nobody has reached,
to learn that the stars are nothing but bleached,"}

I like that part. I like what it says and I like how you put those words together. When I first read the poem, I smiled because its interesting. I love what you're talking about here and I love the rhythm. But as read it again and again, I realized that there are some parts that is a bit off tempo and there are a couple of typos too.

Like the third verse, there should be an "s" for wrist because you use iron shackles instead of iron shackle. Same goes for the last sentence in the verse when you say "thing". It should be things. And for the fourth verse, I don't understand when you say

"it is bound to discover,
all the crimes neatly covered."

Because _{"My mind flies to places nobody has reached,
to learn that the stars are nothing but bleached,
spots on the dark, they're not even light,
I think that's 'cause real light brings nothing but fright,"} already sounded like a completed verse and the rhythm and flow would be even too. Also, God is spelled with a capital "G" because the word is a noun. Other than that, everything else is wonderful. I really love how you ended the poem and it is a very interesting topic.

--
_{Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.}

thanks for pointing out the typos, and also for the critique
I changed the s errors, and the capital G (didn't know that )
That part
"it is bound to discover,
all the crimes neatly covered"
goes together with the part above ("I think that's 'cause real light brings nothing but fright"), expressing that the reason for the stars not really shining is that real light would uncover all crimes that happen in the dark.
again, so many thanks for the constructive critique

--
Liverpool can be a lonely place on a Saturday night, and this is only Thursday morning...

I that sentence.
Oh, and one more thing.
Read. Mah. Poetr...ah?
[link]

wow this is amazing i love it so much

=]